To All You Single Ladies Looking For More

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Being single is not something new for me. I’ve been single since my junior year of high school, which was 3 years ago. Guys look at me like I’m crazy when they ask me if I’m single and I say ‘yes’.

For some reason we made being single not a good thing.

Somehow we got it in our heads that being single meant there was something wrong with us.

I’m not pretty enough

I’m not funny

I’m boring

I’m not outgoing enough

I’m not skinny enough

I don’t look good without makeup

My hair isn’t perfectly curled or straight

I’m not smart enough

I’m not athletic

I don’t have a likeable personality

Insert whatever you think is wrong with you

There are a million different things you could come up with to place in the reason why you’re single column. The bad news is you can think these things are wrong with you all you want and it is not going to magically create you a boyfriend.

I believed horrible things about myself for years. I told myself I didn’t deserve to have a boyfriend, I didn’t deserve to have someone care about me, that there was something seriously wrong with me because how else could I justify being single to myself. The only problem was thinking those thoughts made my self-esteem drop incredibly low. I went from believing I didn’t deserve to have a guy care about me to not believing anyone should care about me, not even myself. The thoughts I had originally thought were keeping me from having a boyfriend, were keeping me from living my life. When things didn’t go right for me I justified it by I wasn’t good enough for whatever reason I added on to that for that day. It went from I wasn’t good enough to I wasn’t good enough because of _____. My friendships even started to struggle because I didn’t think I deserved even them. It got to the point that I struggled to find reasons to care about myself. I became incredibly self-destructive because of thoughts I let control my life. I cut myself to prove to myself that I truly wasn’t good enough to be loved.

If you feel like that, if you feel like any of the things listed above or even things I didn’t list let me be the first to tell you-

YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE WRONG

The day I stopped believing those lies I had convinced myself were true is the day my life changed. I may not be what the hottest guy in school wants but I AM WHAT SOME GUY WILL WANT! If you ever expect a guy to see you as beautiful, and worth loving then you have to learn to love and cherish yourself. Show him that you love who you are because you were made to be exactly who you are.

So start right now and say it with me

I AM BEAUTIFUL

I AM FUNNY

I AM NOT BORING

I LOVE MY SPIRIT WHETHER IT BE OUTGOING OR TIMID

I AM THE PERFECT WEIGHT

I LOOK LIKE I WAS CHISELED BY GOD’S HAND WITHOUT MAKEUP

GOD PLACED EVERY HAIR ON MY HEAD AND IT IS PERFECT

I AM SMART

I AM ATHLETIC

I HAVE A LOVEABLE PERSONALITY

Whatever you inserted change it to make it great, to make it show how great you are.

It’s easy to say those things with a smile on your face and in that moment you believe you are beautiful with all your heart, but what about tomorrow when you aren’t reading this. Will you still believe it?

I didn’t, but I learned how! I learned that I AM fearfully and wonderfully made. I looked inside myself at who my Daddy had created, and what I saw made me believe.

What I saw inside myself is inside you as well!

You are my sister created by the same God! He gave me a heart to love, a heart full of kindness, and beauty, a heart that has the power to forgive and change lives. A pure and perfect God who loves me no matter what I think of myself. He created me pure and perfect. He designed every part of me just the way He wanted, and there are no mistakes in me. I am His flawless masterpiece! What is in my heart can never be taken from me no matter what my past has looked like, and when I let what is in my heart radiate through me and out of me that is when I love myself the most, and when I believe that I AM BEAUTIFUL!

No, I don’t look like a Victoria Secret Model but I don’t want too. I was made the way I was suppose to be made and when I let my heart radiate out of me and I look in the mirror I see the face of God. I see a body that has not been edited and done up for a camera for the world to judge. I see a body that is mine!!

When you believe in the beauty that is inside of you, that is when the beauty on the outside of you will never be hidden again.

I love being single, because it reminds me that I just haven’t met the guy that is going to love me the way God created me to be loved. Don’t settle for some mediocre guy, when you could be happy with who you are and wait for a guy that will see you the way you were meant to be seen. A guy that will confirm what you’ve believed for so long and it will be worth it!

You are beautiful, You are loving, You are kind, You are pure in heart, Your beauty is all your own and can never be taken from you! You have a heart of gold and

YOU ARE MORE PRECIOUS THAN DIAMONDS!

I thought I could survive without you

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For years I’ve tried living my life by God’s rules but only by the ones I felt like I wanted to follow. It makes life so much tougher when we pick and chose which of God’s commandments we wish to follow, and which ones we wish to ignore. They are all the same in the eyes of the Lord they are all sin.

Once you decide that one of God’s commandments does not apply to you, then sin has a foothold and the devil has won. He has won the battle for your heart for the day because you chose to see God’s commandment and not obey it.

I first realized that with lying…but little did I realize I had started long before that.

  1. “Thou shalt have no other Gods before me”

I had chosen to let the world be my god, without even fully realizing that I was. I chose a world of saying what I want when I want, even if it could be hurtful, because if it made me feel better about myself then good for me, you should just learn to toughen up. Slowly over time I chose to follow the ways of the world. Saying choice words when I got upset, or frustrated… which of course that slowly became just in normal conversations a word would start to drop. It became so much an almost natural part of me. I had let the world become my god where I stopped questioning if I should really be watching this, or if I should really say or do these things just because some movie star does. If it felt right to me at the time or made me fit in I didn’t care if it was right or wrong.

  1. “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image”

Alcohol, boys, and cutting myself had become graven images to me. I turned to them when I wanted to feel comfort or just anything really. The worst one of all was the image of attention that I felt and it would be the biggest idol of them all. I let it control the choices I made and the way I lived every day. These things brought only temporary fulfillment but I allowed them to be my idols anyways. These did little to nothing for me and I finally realized it but it could not take away the years that I let them control my life. I could get all the attention and love I wanted from God but the temporary earthly love and attention seemed so much more appealing at the time. Even though that kind of love and attention is only temporary and is fleeting. But the love of the Father is everlasting.

  1. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain”

This one became almost a habit I would say “Jesus Christ” when I was frustrated, or I would use God’s name with curse words. It was like those names stopped having meaning for me. They were just another everyday English word that I used, when really they are the name of my Father, and I would never use my earthly father’s name the way I use my heavenly Fathers name. Now how is that right?

In Luke 19 Jesus calls Zaccheaus by name! How precious is it to us when someone knows our name, and calls us by name even though we may or may not know how they know our name. It is such a joyful feeling when someone calls you by name. Can you imagine having someone you care about use your name as a cursed term…no! So, why then do we think it any less hurtful when we use the Lord’s name as a cursed term, since he loves us more than we could ever fathom.

  1. “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it Holy”

Sunday’s became just a day I became tradition to going to church on. There was nothing special about this day it was just a day I had to get up early and look my best. There is so much more to this day. It is the day that the Lord rested, it is a Holy day, a day for us to have the honored privilege of worshiping our creator, our defender, our Father. It is a day we can say thank you, and feel the overwhelming love of our Father who gave up everything for us because he loves us so much. Did that mean anything to me though, no of course not? I would rather complain about having to go then see the pure joy and love that comes from it.

  1. “Honour thy father and thy mother”

This one was a big one I chose not to follow. I chose to be rude to my parents when I didn’t think they were acted the perfect way I (in all my parenting knowledge) thought that a parent should act. If my parents asked me to do the dishes or clean the house I would do it. I just wouldn’t be respectful about the fact I had to do it; words would be said under the breath and fingers would be thrown when their back was turned. Worst of all I would make myself seem like I’d done so much that day and shouldn’t have to help rather one of my siblings should be made to do it instead. For that moment I decided that I was more important than anyone else in my family. Which was me choosing to not honor my mother or father.

  1. “Thou shalt not kill”

Now I never have killed anyone, but God says that if so even have hatred for someone in your heart you had broken this command in His eyes. I had hatred for tons of people at different points in my life. Most of my hatred was directed at someone that had wronged me and rather than choosing to forgive them and free them of their debt I chose to make their lives a living hell by hating them. If it was someone at school I could just be mean to them, if it was my mom I would just be an incredibly difficult daughter, if it was my brother I would just be little him till I felt better. Whatever the circumstance I was the one in power and I was the one who was letting hatred, and rage run my life.

  1. “Thou shalt not commit adultery”

No I am not married, but the Lord says if you even so look at man or women with lust in your heart to Him you have committed adultery. This one was easy to break but hard to see I was doing it. The media is full of easy access to sexual scenes in movies, or inappropriate pictures of celebrities on the internet, or websites on the internet that all you need to do is check a box that says you are over 18 with no real proof that you are and there you go the door is opened to a world of lust. We live on a planet that tells you pleasure is important and that sex is okay to do with whoever you want to do it with. We can even buy clothes for girls now that promote that we want to have sex with you. We give away our bodies for sex so that we can make money to get through life. We think if a guy doesn’t want to sleep with us that we are ugly and undeserving. We allow ourselves to be treated as a tool that a man can pick up and use but then through back in the toolbox when he is down with you. Yet when they treat us like crap we are shocked, hurt, and offended by what they did when we allowed them to have that mind set.

Girls you are not trash, you are not a body that is to be used and used and used again but only when someone feels the need to use us. No, you are beautiful! No matter what past you have lived, how many mistakes you have made, how many men you have been with. It does not matter what yesterday, or any day before that looks like. Because you are worth more than your past; raise your standards and realize that you not only deserve better, but that you deserve the world! That you deserve everything, and that someone died for you when you were undeserving that you could know love. You may not believe you deserve better, but whether you do or not you have the love of a man that died for you, and all of his children love you as well no matter what you think you do or do not deserve. Never forget that you are loved no matter what your past, present or future looks like. I love you!

  1. “Thou shalt not steal”

I stole an eraser one time when I was little it was a cute little Easter egg. It’s rather humorous that I stole an Easter egg during Easter. A holiday meant to honor the sacrifice and debt that Jesus paid for me. Jesus essential stole my sins, all of my past, present, and future sins He took them from me before I was even born and said I will bare the wrath of God for the sins you will commit in your life time. He did this because He loved me. To honor that sacrifice I steal something as small as an egg eraser because I wanted it and my mom said no. I knew stealing was wrong but in that moment I didn’t care, all I cared about was the fact that I wanted it.

  1. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor”

Do not lie. Well I’m just down right perfect at that one. Lying was second nature to me. I could lie to my parents like there was no tomorrow. In my mind though it wasn’t lying if half of what I said was true, but the other half was not. To God all lying is the same. I never realized how harmful and painful lying was until the day I realized that there was not one person in my life that I had never lied to, big or small, half truth or not. That day I realized that I didn’t care about the people in my life, or trust them enough to tell them the truth. What’s up with that? I chose what friends I have in my life and I couldn’t even be honest with them about what was going on in my life. This one has to be the command I broke the most without even truly seeing I was doing it. In the media little white lies are no big deal but in reality they are everything. If you read between the lines of white lies or of full out lying you see that you are really just saying I’m trying to protect you by not telling you the truth partly but I’m more concerned about my pride if I tell you the truth.

  1. “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors house.

You shall not want or lust after anything that is not yours. Jealousy falls into this and I’ve felt that feeling before all too well. I had no idea that I was breaking a commandment. We long for a love life like our friends, or for a boyfriend or girlfriend, we long to make better grades, to have a car like our friends. Lets be honest anything that isn’t ours that we want we covet for. This world has taught us to be selfish and that everything is me, me, and me. We live in an “ I want it, and I want it now” generation. We sometimes forget to look past the end of the nose on our faces and realize that God already gave us everything we need and that there is no reason for us to covet our neighbor’s things.

Slowly over time and without even realizing it I let the devil have a foothold in my life. Because, slowly but surely I was starting to break every single one of God’s commandments.

The greatest commandment is this, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And the second is equally important “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

I was letting myself slowly start to live my life with a little bit more of the world and a little bit less or the Lord everyday. Among all the chaos life throws our way I had forgotten how to love. Not other people I could love others if I was having a good day. No I had forgotten how to Love the Lord. I had forgotten that he saved my life, and that I owe Him everything my life has to offer. I forgot why he created me; I completely had forgotten how to love Him.

I forgot how to find comfort in Him when I was upset, or to look to him when I needed to feel loved, despite the fact that He made the biggest gesture of love anyone could ever make me for me. I thought I could go through my day without constantly making an effort to have God in my life everyday. I would go days without speaking to Him; it was almost like I had forgotten how to even love myself at times.

Don’t let the devil have any type of foothold in your life, even if it is a foothold as small as distracting you from Christ. Let the Lord be whom you wake up following his rules and go to bed following them because He loves you. You cannot have it both ways, either you love God, and despise men, or you despise God and love men.

I thought I could do it on my own but falling in love with God all over again and realizing that I need him every second of every day was the best thing at ever happened to me. As my eyes open every morning I know that no matter what the day holds I can do it with God by my side because He loves ME no matter what!

There is always a battle going on for your heart! Who will you let win today no matter how big or small the battle may seem?

No matter what remember that no matter what you do YOU ARE LOVED!

If you need prayers or just someone to listen (336) 313-0096